Grab your flashlights and gather ‘round, Austinites. It’s storytime.
Earlier this month, we asked readers to share dating horror stories that tragically occurred while trying to find love in the Capital City. Without further ado, we’re presenting our top submissions, just in time for Halloween.
Editor’s note: these submissions have been edited for readability.
That’s ruff
“Dated someone who (brushed) his dog’s teeth with his toothbrush. Proceeded to wash the toothbrush in the washing machine… then proceeded to brush his teeth with the same toothbrush. 🤯 The audacity to proceed to cheat on me.”
Didn’t quite hook ‘em
“When I was a freshman at the University of Texas, a friend of a friend got me a blind date with a very handsome young man. Hopefully to impress him, I put on my new leather vest.
Shortly after arriving at the UT game, I realized that the vest was not a good choice. I began to sweat profusely in the 100-degree heat. Even worse, the vest must not have been properly cured and it began to rub off all over me and my date. Right after the game, he took me back to my dorm. I never saw him again.”
Twist in the wind
“There was once a chick that I had been friends with for a while, and we expressed mutual feelings for each other, but the biggest factor at the time was distance. Well long story short, a new job brought me back to the Austin area, and we lived pretty close to each other. We had gone out to eat a couple of times and hung out, but the situation felt different and we didn’t talk as much.
So, I decided to hit her up to invite her to go to the annual kite event here in ATX. She seemed excited about the event but never confirmed she wanted to attend, only asked about the date and time it was taking place. The day of the event comes around, I never heard from her. As I was doom scrolling on (Instagram) out of pure boredom, I see that she in fact went to the kite event without me… 🫥"
Feeling lovesick?
“I had been seeing this guy off of Bumble because he was from my home state (already a horrible idea). He moved to ATX because he wanted to be a standup comedian, but he worked in sales full-time. We’d been seeing one another for 6 weeks and it started to be exclusive. One night he invited me over to watch a movie because he wasn’t feeling great (you’re assuming he was just tired or had a cold right??? wrong).
First, I walk up and his whole place smells like YUCK. The way you can smell sickness, ya know. SO I knew I had to leave. I ask him to walk me out because you had to have a key fob for the elevator. He got into the elevator with me and proceeded to pass out (with his eyes open??) and we got stuck in the elevator because it wouldn’t open.
We eventually got out and he came back to life but not before passing out a second time so that I had to physically carry him to bed ... Here’s your warning not to date any (unsuccessful) comedians that live downtown.”
Ready to unburden yourself of an embarrassing or cringe-worthy dating story? You can still submit your freaky first date or the break-up that haunts you for a chance to be featured in the future.
